i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
