Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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