he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
