What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
