hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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