How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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