I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
