I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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