why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
