This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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