I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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