I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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