just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
