i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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