i barfeds in our rink
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
