i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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