Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
