I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize