i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You made out with two different species that night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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