i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
