I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
