I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
