So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
