So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
