This girl is more easily done than said...
Quick, to the slutcave!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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