She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need a beard to bite.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
