is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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