It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize