Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
