I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
