i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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