I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
