in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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