i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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