If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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