Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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