im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
