oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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