I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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