id be glad to
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize