Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
