Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
