she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
