im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
