I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
