Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
