Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize