I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
