Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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