I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
