I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
