Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
