I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
