you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
