I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
