everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
