We won't sleep together?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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