Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
