Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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