so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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