Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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