You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
