The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
