I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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