is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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