this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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