that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
