Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My room smells like vodka and shame
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
